It’s Possible to Become Unlonely: 5 Strategies to Combat Loneliness

Inevitably in life, we all feel lonely at some point. From feeling out of place in middle school as friendship groups change to missing family and friends during those first weeks of college, loneliness tends to hit during moments of transition, but can occur for many reasons. While it’s a perfectly natural feeling, it’s still an uncomfortable one. Therefore, learning to manage feelings of loneliness in a healthy way is one of the best investments teens and young adults can make in their mental wellness. 

Dr. Jeremy Nobel, MD, MPH is a primary care physician and founder of The Foundation for Art and Healing created Project Unlonely to help people navigate loneliness and find ways to combat this uncomfortable feeling. In his book about the project, also titled Project Unlonely, Nobel “offers a road map to make connections, using creative expression as a means to communicate.”

In a conversation with NPR’s Allison Aubrey to mark the publication of his book, Nobel shared that creative expression - whether creating or viewing someone else’s work is the key to combating loneliness. For Nobel, creative expression isn’t just activities like drawing and painting, but can include any creative outlet. “Culinary arts is a big one,” he says. “Many people find creative expression through cooking and baking. There are also textile arts such as knitting, crocheting or quilting. Even gardening is a form of artistic expression. “It's what a friend of mine calls the world's slowest performance art form.” 

One of the biggest challenges in mitigating feelings of loneliness, or becoming unlonely, is taking that first step. But, if you’ve ever struggled with mental wellness, you know that getting started can be easier said than done. 

With that in mind here are five strategies to become unlonely:

1. Connect with Yourself 

Getting started on a creative journey and connecting with others is easy if you know a little, or a lot, about yourself. Invest some time in finding out what things interest you and engage your mind naturally.

2. Become a Maker

I’m sure we’ve all thought about doing something like painting or drawing, but have been deterred for fear of not being good enough. But as Nobel shares in the book, get started with a doodle or some other creative pursuit: make a pie, plant a herb garden, or dance a little. There are so many ways to be creative and make something.

3. Share What You’ve Done

Once you’ve made something, it’s time to share your creation. It can take a lot of courage to share something you’ve put your heart and soul into for fear of negative feedback, but sharing can also result in validation or be a great conversation starter. To avoid unsolicited negative feedback it’s probably best to share in real life first, or in a trusted online group.

4. Find a Group Online or IRL 

Finding a group of likeminded people whether online or in real life is another way to connect and defeat the feelings of loneliness. While being in a group of people doesn’t guarantee loneliness will never be a problem, you’re more likely to build the connections that banish loneliness if you have something in common. Whether it's a volunteer group where all members share a common mission or an online group where everyone shares a common passion, it’s the ability to use what’s in common to drive connection. 

5. Support Others as They Navigate Loneliness 

What’s that old saying? A trouble shared is a trouble halved? Well, the same is true of loneliness. As we noted loneliness is common and it’s especially prevalent at the beginning of a new school year or during other periods of transition. Keep an eye out for people who might be new to your neighborhood, school, or college and be their first connection in a new place. It’s guaranteed to make you both feel a little less lonely.

Looking for a local teen group to connect with? The FORT offers teens a variety of experiential activities to develop connections. The Fort Teen Hangout can help you find your people for conversational support.